That simple question sounds so immature.  Right?  I mean, who goes around asking that question?  Just the word is odd to say for me… tickle. What?  So weird.  Some of you may immediately dread the thought of someone poking your sides or knees at just the thought of this question.  It was brought to my attention by a 7 year old.

I starting thinking about what that actually could mean.  It’s obviously someone finding joy at watching someone squirm from something so simple.  It’s a vulnerable spot we don’t want people to know.  We hide it.  We don’t usually want others to know that if someone pokes you in your side you’ll squirm.  It’s a weakness we don’t like to have exposed. 

In the moment of being “exposed” and vulnerable, we don’t enjoy the laughing or taunting…I believe.  I’ll attest to this.  The being vulnerable part isn’t the biggest problem we face, but it’s the desire to not hear the audible laughs that somehow amplify possible lies of “imperfection” within.  Is that too far out there to think of this? 

Hope this makes you think about the concept for yourself.  Being tickled isn’t too much fun.  However, sometimes it’s good to hear a belly-aching laugh from being tickled.

For those who have worked with kids, have you ever had 2 or more students who would not stop going back and forth of how they despise each other?  It’s more than annoying!  As an instructor, you can do all you can to get in each students face and tell them to stop, but there just seems to be a chasm within that is never satisfied with verbally berating another person.

I, and many others, call this the “hurt people, hurt people” scenario.  One has hurt feelings/self-esteem deep within from some unfortunate encounter(s), and all they know to do is to be mean/ugly to others.  One may lash out to enjoy seeing others in misery, they “have nothing else to do”, build up their self-esteem by tearing others down, or some other preposterous reason from a result of a pain within.

How does an instructor actually stop such a thing?  Patience, being direct, not budging/tolerating any of it, having a rule for behaving/saying such things, or speaking life into both parties are a few ideas that immediately come to mind, which I have used in a group setting.  There is also the situation where one party is the attacker for no reason what-so-ever, and it even hurts to hear the vile coming from them towards one who clearly hasn’t done anything to deserve the treatment.

These scenarios are far too common in our society and schools.  Kids learn it from TV, movies, home, and friends.  So, without dragging this message out from the very sound basics of what I’ve already mentioned, enjoy this fine example of our wonderful friends from The Office. 

Just remember..."You are the Silent Killer"...

This past week I asked high school aged kids a series of questions.  I’ve been substitute teaching in a neighboring county high school very often nowadays.  I was tired of being superficial and talking about petty stuff.  I wanted to know their thoughts and opinions on  certain subjects.  I’m curious to know so I will have a better idea on how to specifically relate and challenge/encourage them.

My 1st question was “What is the overall mood, attitude, and atmosphere of this county and the people in it?”.  I asked these questions in about 13 separate classes (the school has a period schedule) totaling about 250 different students.

For the most part, their responses were somewhat of the following: depressing, lazy, ignorant, boring, nosy, rude, impoverished, and the list goes on and on.  There was an overwhelming amount of negativity.

I had only 2 students speak up and say something like “There’s still some good people here”.   Those 2 students were a breath of fresh air for me. 

The 2nd question I asked was “Why is it like this type of mood and atmosphere here?”. 

They eventually spoke up saying something like the following: it’s always been like this, people are too much into drugs, people just don’t care, the teachers here don’t teach, and the negativity list goes on and on.

After reviewing what the overall mood/attitude was and the why for it, I asked my 3rd question.  Now, this question absolutely dumbfounded the students.  I laugh now when I think of the look on their faces.

The question I asked was “How could we “fix” these issues or better yet improve on the overall attitude and atmosphere in this school and county?”.

Some students said that it’s not possible.  Some mentioned how certain people will get upset and possibly threaten you if messing with the status quo. 

Some said to rid those who were the “problem”.  I pursued that response with more questions.  Basically, I asked them from the sound of their responses if they wanted to be a dictator and start another genocide. 

After I summarized all their responses I asked if they really wanted to know how to “fix the problems”.  With puzzled looks on their faces I told them tangible wisdom I hope they apply in their lives of how to address the problems we agreed on.

You set the tone.
The change starts with you.
If all you do is focus on the negative, then you’ll have a gloomy outlook on your circumstances and those around you.
The negativity will spread like a virus and bring others down around you.
You decide how to act, react, speak, and discipline yourself.
Be the change you want to see.
It’s not “impossible” to change the mood.
Why can’t you focus on the positive?
Speak life and not death.
Stop complaining.
Punch negativity in the face…figuratively.
We hurt others, because we’re hurt ourselves from something else.
Hurt people hurt people.
Let things go.
If you’re acting in generous ways and speaking to others in positive ways, they will notice and enjoy you more than if you were negative.

Out of all the classes I was asking these questions in, I “went off” in a specific one.  What I mean is that I raised my voice as if I was at a football game (those of you who’ve been at games with me understand). 

Let me explain.  A certain student was berated a teacher on how horrible they were.  I asked why they thought this.  They couldn’t give me a solid reasoning.  Now, I do understand that some teachers at times seem very unrealistic or are what us Health & PE majors call “ball rollers”.

Anywho, this student kept being mean in their words, and other students were agreeing with what was being said.  It hit a nerve of mine. 

In my loud voice I said something like this… “All you’re doing is speaking death right now!  Do you realize we have the power of speaking life or death in our words?!  If all you do is speak death, then nobody will want to be around you!  How about this for example to be more clear on what I mean…I think you’re absolutely a pathetic excuse of a human being!  Stupid!  Scum of the earth with no purpose! …or I can say… I think you’re great looking, you have a brilliant mind, and a fantastic future ahead of you!  Which would you rather listen too!?  Do you understand?!”

…I think I made my point, and the whole class understood the message.

This is a simple example how I’m setting the tone, raising the bar, and loving on these kids in this specific community so that it may grow and become a healthy environment rather than one that wants to tear itself apart.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat it's fruit."   
- Proverbs 18:21

p.s. The title was told to me by a 7 year old of what “cool” meant.  If all we teach others is how to be negative in order to build up our self-esteem, then we’re going backwards as a society.

PURE
UNBRIDLED
KID
ENERGY

Anywhere you’re able to observe kids playing, their energy seem to never cease.  Seriously, do they ever get tired?  I’m amazed by it, and absolutely loved it during my PE student teaching at an elementary school.  Unfortunately some kids, depending on age group, don’t really try to put forth any effort of physical exertion in a game or race.  Everyone can relate to whom they were while in their sports practice or PE class growing up.  Were you the most athletic, in the medium range, or tried to use as many excuses to get out of activity as possible?

The brilliance of it was brought to my attention a few weeks ago as a 5 year old in one of my tennis lessons all of a sudden started running around the courts.  I mean, she just ran...like Forrest Gump!  We did some relays, balanced the ball on the racquets, and then I tried to get her back to practicing her strokes.  There were 2 kids, so when it wasn’t the girl’s turn, she was off running in circles with her arms spread wide as if she was flying! 

The word “unbridled” really stuck out to me.  Webster defines it as “not controlled or limited, something done, felt, or expressed in a free and uncontrolled way.”  I believe it best fits the true capturing of what I experienced while watching a 5 year old run around for basically 30 minutes straight.  Maybe, she kept running to stay warm since it was about 55 degrees Fahrenheit with a breeze, and she was being asked to hit a tennis ball.

Where did we lose such innocence growing up?  Kids this age hardly ever care what people are thinking about their actions.  Rules and culture are forced down our throats, and we accept the “normal actions/ways” of acting “appropriately”.  Sometimes, we simply need to tap into what I call that kid energy and just let loose!  I guarantee it'll do you some good both mentally and physically.