Getting to Colorado and living here for a year is the tip of the iceberg of what I believe is me stepping into my “promise land”. Yet, there’s the story of years and years of mountains and valleys with dreams and desires of my heart.
Putting words together for this blog is very difficult, because this is a culmination of my life experiences. It’s not made up, it’s real. It’s authentic. It’s joyful and heart wrenching. It’s a journey most importantly being pursued by God. It’s not me pursuing Him. Whenever I do search for Him, He’s already there.
I know deep down He’s given me a heart for kids, for community, for adventure, and much more. I’ve had these deep down dreams and desires of my heart for years that have been buried under let downs, failures, uncertainty, dead-ends, closed doors, loneliness, and life. It hurts. It can lead to a life of loneliness, frustration, depression, and more. You feel stuck...and you just want to scream WHY!?!?!?!?! How do I get to where I want to go!?!?!
Putting words together for this blog is very difficult, because this is a culmination of my life experiences. It’s not made up, it’s real. It’s authentic. It’s joyful and heart wrenching. It’s a journey most importantly being pursued by God. It’s not me pursuing Him. Whenever I do search for Him, He’s already there.
I know deep down He’s given me a heart for kids, for community, for adventure, and much more. I’ve had these deep down dreams and desires of my heart for years that have been buried under let downs, failures, uncertainty, dead-ends, closed doors, loneliness, and life. It hurts. It can lead to a life of loneliness, frustration, depression, and more. You feel stuck...and you just want to scream WHY!?!?!?!?! How do I get to where I want to go!?!?!
You wouldn't know it from the picture, but this is South Bear Peak at 8600 ft. on the Flatirons over Boulder, CO.
Yet, I kept going. Because I knew in my heart, that I know, that I know, that I know…what I desired, but didn’t know how to exactly get there. It’s like I could get a glimpse of where I want to go, but no matter how hard I planned or tried I couldn’t seem to get there. Hoplessness came and went. Realizing to give Him my hopes and dreams and rest in Him is a very tough and humbling lesson as a Christian. To find rest and peace in Him was/is tough, because I like to have my hand on things to control.
Transitioning back into American culture after the World Race in 2011 isn’t/wasn’t easy at all for me. How can one go back into a familiar cycle of life after experiencing so much growth, heartache, healing, and more? Not being able to verbalize the experiences and view of God in a totally new and different way with the people where you came from is tough. Wanting to be understood, yet hungry for people to get a(n) taste/encounter of Him that you yourself have had was/is a cry of my heart..
Transitioning back into American culture after the World Race in 2011 isn’t/wasn’t easy at all for me. How can one go back into a familiar cycle of life after experiencing so much growth, heartache, healing, and more? Not being able to verbalize the experiences and view of God in a totally new and different way with the people where you came from is tough. Wanting to be understood, yet hungry for people to get a(n) taste/encounter of Him that you yourself have had was/is a cry of my heart..
My amazing WR Q-squad family after a rough debrief in Hyderabad, India in 2011
Then, coming back from G42 Leadership Academy in 2012 and running into what at the time seemed to be a disaster of a planned trip to South Sudan really hurt, after planning and fundraising for over a year. It hurt more when trying to find a PE job for 2 years with no avail. Application after application after application, hoping for some school to give me a chance. Thoughts that maybe something was wrong with me, not being qualified enough, and so much doubt all from the Enemy bombarded me on a weekly basis for about 2 years.
A shift happened when I went to Ukraine and Spain for 6 weeks in the summer of 2014. A peace came over me, finally grasping that my support community from college and home had been there all along no matter how many times I “failed”, an idea of moving to a new place, and much more started to come together during that time.
A shift happened when I went to Ukraine and Spain for 6 weeks in the summer of 2014. A peace came over me, finally grasping that my support community from college and home had been there all along no matter how many times I “failed”, an idea of moving to a new place, and much more started to come together during that time.
G42 5 Year Alumni Reunion in 2014 in Mijas, Spain.
Finally. A move, a shift, doors opening, getting a job, coming to a new place and everything that I had hoped for and more are coming to light leaves me speechless with a thankful heart. A community of amazing Kingdom-minded young adults I can confidently call my friends. A playground of mountains and wilderness on my doorstep that I can explore and never grow bored. A foothold of a teaching job that I was finally given a chance to show how good of a teacher I knew I was in a school and environment that I absolutely love. And…this is just the beginning?!
If you know anything about the Israelites in the Old Testament and their journey to and in the Promise Land, the entire story is covered in several Books of the Bible. Once they got to the Promise land, the work didn’t stop…it had only just begun. There were battles, good times, tough times, and so much more to be learned from their journey.
If you know anything about the Israelites in the Old Testament and their journey to and in the Promise Land, the entire story is covered in several Books of the Bible. Once they got to the Promise land, the work didn’t stop…it had only just begun. There were battles, good times, tough times, and so much more to be learned from their journey.
Rosalie Peak at 13,575 ft with Mt. Bierstadt and Mt. Evans behind me.
I’ve written about this time in my life back in August 2015, and sitting here now looking back makes me even more grateful for all that has happened.
I realize people reading this are in so many different stages of life. I’ve learned that in order to get to a promise land, you have to go through a desert time. It’s not fun, but You Choose how to handle the circumstances. Find rest in Him. He’s preparing you for what’s next…even if you don’t believe it.
This song, Explode My Soul, has been my heartbeat and lyrically prophetic for what happened and is happening in my life. Enjoy, and thank you for reading. Here’s to the journey.
I realize people reading this are in so many different stages of life. I’ve learned that in order to get to a promise land, you have to go through a desert time. It’s not fun, but You Choose how to handle the circumstances. Find rest in Him. He’s preparing you for what’s next…even if you don’t believe it.
This song, Explode My Soul, has been my heartbeat and lyrically prophetic for what happened and is happening in my life. Enjoy, and thank you for reading. Here’s to the journey.
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