Whenever I do physical activity of sports, hiking, and etc…I very rarely have to just quit due to pure exhaustion since I’m pretty good about knowing how to pace myself. 
 
I had just moved to Colorado on July 6th, and was invited by a church group to go camping and hiking up in the mountains on July 16th.  I thought it was a great opportunity to go quickly and hike some BIG mountains.  The tallest point in Georgia is Brasstown Bald at 4,784 feet.  All of the Denver area is over 5,000 feet.
 
I knew I needed to prepare as much as possible to get as acclimated to the new elevation, so I went up 2 nearby peaks with no major breathing problem or altitude sickness.  I went up Mt. Falcon and Bergen Peak, and both have remarkable views of Denver and Mt. Evans. 
 
Since the group I was with was camping outside of Leadville at the Halfmoon Creek campsites, I suggested the idea of going up Mt. Elbert.  The group had just only mentioned hiking Mt. Massive that Saturday.  So, on Friday I went with a group after being in Colorado for just 10 days to go up to the highest point in Colorado.  Genius.

I did surprisingly well and only had a headache due to altitude.  The trail we went on was a round trip of 9 miles (4.5 1 way), and you start the trail at around 10,040 feet…ONLY to climb a total gain of 4,700 feet up to 14,440 feet.  Once we cleared the tree line there were many false summits that were tricky and made you want to just sit and have a drink. 

It was amazing!  Words and pictures can’t fully describe the sensation once getting on the top and then making your way back down with a magnificent grandeur view.

I was pretty wiped out by the time I made it back to camp. That was a given.  The next day the plan was to go up Mt. Massive (the 2nd tallest mountain in Colorado) with some new people that had arrived that Friday afternoon.  Lets just say my body hadn’t fully recovered yet.  We decided to go on the Western slope, because we didn’t want to go up the long 7 mile 1 way route on the South and Eastern side.  The western slope is less than 4 miles in length.  Whenever you plan to hike up a 14er (14,000 foot mountain), you want to plan to leave the peak by noon.  This is due to the quick changing weather that can happen, and you don't want to be on top of a mountain when a storm blows in.

Mt. Massive sits just around 14,430 feet, and the trailhead starts around 10,500 feet.  It’s called Mt. Massive due to it having 5 peaks over 14,000 feet.  It’s a behemoth compared to everything around it.  The 1st mile or so wasn’t too bad, because we had only gained about 400 feet in elevation.  Then, the uphill.  About a mile going up the steep incline my legs started to give out.  I had to stop about every .2 miles to take a break.  I was going through my water and food so fast that I realized I was going to run out.  Thankfully people in my group had some extra water.  The muscles in my legs were cramping up so badly that stretching felt as if it made it worse.  My quads, calves, hamstrings, hip-flexors....EVERYTHING HURT.  I was definitely the straggler in the group.

The saving grace were the views.  The higher we went the more mountains we could see since we were on the Western slope.  I still kept taking breaks and slowly going up in small chunks.  Slow and steady wins the race.  I felt miserable…but so relieved when we got to the top.  A tricky part of Mt. Massive is that where there’s a trail junction, you feel as if you’re at the top…and then you see another point across the ridge where more people are and you realize that’s the Peak.  Awesome.  “Well, if I’ve made it this far”.

I took a well-deserved long break, our group was going to go back down several different routes, and I decided to take the long 7 mile “gradual” way down.  Thankfully people at the top had extra food.  Sausage had never tasted so good in my life.  I was so surprised at how many people were at the top.  I would say there was about 40 people on average on the peak for an hour or so.  It even started snowing on my way down…in July…I was confused.  Along with another pounding headache, ridiculously sore body, and more.  Deep down, I was still loving it.

I couldn’t walk normal for about a week or so after that.  Months later at a dinner party, I mentioned this insane hiking extravaganza to some Olympic wrestlers…and they said they wouldn’t have even done that.  Yet another reason to scratch my head at how I was able to make it…and WHY?! Why did I put myself through all that?  Because I love hiking and the journey/challenges it brings with a sweet taste of success with its views knowing that you DID IT.

If and when I hike them again, I know I'll do much better due to training.

Yup.  This is the only thing that comes to mind when trying to figure out how to continue where I left this blog site months ago.  I use the word “unicorn” when I don’t know what else to say.
 
I’ve been living in Denver, CO for over 7 months now, and have loved every day.  So much has been happened where I find it difficult to formulate words how I am and what I’m doing here.

Social life: There are so many groups to get into that it’s intimidating.  I’m slowly connecting with groups of awesome people for a community I want to be within for months and possibly years to come.

Working:  I love teaching my little 4 year olds everyday.  They’re so hungry to learn and absorb everything, and I laugh everyday with them in the games we play.  I can easily see the growth in their locomotor, psychomotor, verbal, and social skills.  I have some great new PE lessons, which I will be sharing in the days to come.  I also work doing simple maintenance at a lovely local tennis club.  I enjoy being around a tennis center, and sometimes I get to play on the courts (it’s expensive).

Hiking: Ummmm, this place is amazing.  I don’t go skiing or snowboarding due to $, but I still absolutely love exploring the mountains.  I make it a point to go into the mountains every 2 weeks.  Being in the city gets under my skin.

-Gun Massacres will happen even with stricter gun laws.
-Mental Illness is the cognitive reasoning and explanation people say to grasp why things are carried out in horrific proportion.
-Why?  I don’t give a flying turkey hoot what “belief system” you have, but there’s a clear darkness/enemy in the World that delights in human destruction.
 
Let’s break these things down in basic form.  I guarantee you that even if guns were illegal in the U.S., there would still be killings and horrific incidents.  If someone is determined enough, they can create destruction with everyday objects.  2 sentences, sounds like a good summary to me.  Now to get real messy.
 
Mental Illness.  Humanistic approaches to “mental illness” will never stop the problems. Look at the profiles of all the people who carried out horrific crimes in the past 2 years.  What are their similarities?  Seclusion, deep-rooted frustrations or anger, and/or a deep lack of caring for others are the top 3 that come to mind.  I’m not some psychologist to give you all the theoretical reasoning behind mental instability and etc. 
 
However, I can tell you from personal experience that there are thoughts and voices that are of death.  Everyone has them, and if you say that you don’t then you’re blind to what’s going on around you and in you.  People ACT out of what they believe about themselves.  Think about this for a second.  No seriously.  Why did you just act the way you did yesterday when something unnerving happened?  Was it calm or an outburst?  It’s from how you view yourself and expectations.
 
Mental Illness?  STOP LABELING SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE DEALS WITH.  It’s ANYONE who hears thoughts that destroy ones core and image enough that they start to act out in anger and hatred of the world and life.  “Geez, I wonder where these thoughts come from?”  Where do you think Carmen San Diego?  The Enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  The only weapon that Lucifer has are Words.  Words, that if you believe them, they will formulate into an action and then chaos reigns.
 
“You’ve lost your mind thinking it’s just rooted in someone’s thoughts”.  Oh really?  You ever had those thoughts that “you’re not good enough”, “no one likes you”, “you’re a pathetic human being”, “people don’t understand you”, “they don’t accept you”, “you’re never going to make them proud”, “you have to show that you’re better for them to like you”, "you have to get back at them to prove you're better", "your image is tarnished because of them", and on and on and on and on and on?  What do you do with those thoughts?  You either believe them or reject them.  Then, if you believe certain lies long enough your actions reflect your belief about yourself.  It doesn’t take a psychologist or philosopher to figure that out.
 
Evil is the belief that God is not Good and rooted in selfishness.

“But these people sometimes have these chemical imbalances in their brain and rough upbringing”.  I don’t deny that.  Yet, everyone is left with CHOICE.  You EITHER believe in the words that attack your core OR believe in Hope, Joy, Peace, and LOVE that is even more powerful than Evil.  Sometimes people believe that they don't have a choice and have to listen and welcome those thoughts.  I honestly will say I used to think that too.  I thought that there was no escape at times, even though I sensed there was some form of Hope way off in the distance I couldn't reach.  I will also say that the spiritual affects the physical.  Encountering people with love is far better than rejecting them.  You don’t give a person drowning a pill…they need to be saved!
 
“You sound like a kumbaya dancing hippy”.  Why thank you, but I don’t drink coffee.
 
I feel led to share all this, because I can see my old self in their profiles.  I read a profile on one in college in a human-growth and development psychology class.  It scared me stiff.  It almost felt as if I was reading about myself, but of one who had zero support and carried out their thoughts.  They eventually carried out horrendous acts of violence.  I used to believe those thoughts and attacks of ones core. Let me be frank with you…USED TO is key. 
 
What happened?  Oh, I still get those thoughts that attack my core, but I rebuke them now.  Through encounters over time, I was more impacted by a Love that doesn’t make any sense and can erase all fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, and self-hate.  Key Point: Encountered.  Thousands and millions of people have yet received a drop of hope and love from others in such a long time, that they’re hopeless. 
 
How to stop massacres?   Love people.  “It can’t be that easy”.  Oh yes it is. 
 
“You have no idea what you’re talking about and forgetting so many other factors”. 
 
I used to be depressed, have suicidal thoughts, said horrific things, lived in a life of mental torment and hopelessness, and filled with anger and rage and bitterness.  And then Love showed up that didn’t make sense.  It was ugly, in my face, constant, subtle, and consistent.  Love never left.  No matter how low and in some rotting hole I thought I was in, it brought me out of it.  I didn’t deserve it on a human scale, but the FATHER says I am.
 
I know people will want to give me problems for sharing these things that they don't agree with.  And IF you DO, just know that I don't hate you and you are Loved.  People can keep trying to encounter “mental illness” with human reasoning, but it isn’t going to cure the problem.  Love from the Father is.  Loving each other even when it hurts.  Knowing ones worth in Him leads to healing and Life. 
 
“That’s all I got to say about that”.

Moral of the story: You have to get through the Wilderness before you can reach a “Promise Land”.   It could be a storm, desert, wilderness, and etc.  It’s not “fun”.  You sometimes think that “everything is against you”, “nothing goes your way”, “what’s the point anymore”, and etc.  There are always 2 sides to a desert…think about it.

I’ve shared on this site large bits and pieces of my story and journey of the past few years.  I’ve been applying for teaching jobs since the beginning of 2013 after a trip was abruptly shut closed in my face after a year plus of working to go on it has left me with a lifetime of experience and insight.  Door after door after door I knock hoping for a chance and they remained closed. 

Imagine 200+ doors all lined up in a giant hall that are all opened, but when you go by to see if you could come in they all close in your face.  No matter how well you prepare yourself with words or looks, they just shut you down.  Debilitating is a decent word that could be used to describe one’s feelings.  Insanity also comes up to the top of the vocabulary when doing something such as that.

I was filled with uncertainty, duh.  Doubting if I actually wanted to still become an instructor of some sort.  Pondering all the other places and things I could be applying myself towards or doing something that’d actually make some income.  I was almost on the brink of going “insane” due to lack of community and people I knew who understood me and would talk things out in my immediate area.

I never kept count of how many jobs I’ve applied for the past 2.5 years, but it’s a lot.  I didn’t sit on my hands and wonder if anyone would help me out during that time either.  I did what I thought was best in improving my resume and to make ends meet.  I’m extremely thankful for the mentoring and lessons I learned before this tough time.  The encouragement and life people spoke to me years ago continued to resonate deep within me.  Resonating louder than the thoughts of hopelessness even though sometimes those desperate thoughts became fairly loud at times.  Choosing time after time to speak life not death.  Not everyday was pretty, and if it was then it wouldn’t be as memorable.

Slowly and surely I’ve come to a “promised land” area.  The battle doesn’t stop, but only magnifies.  My responsibility has grown even more.  More crucial decisions are to be made even more.  Yet, that’s always going happen no matter who you are.  I am absolutely Thrilled for these new opportunities and work!  It’s not exactly where I see myself yet, but it’s an amazing step forward.  It’s time to buckle down and get to work, because I definitely want to do a good job with what has been given to me.

I constantly remember the Israelites wandering for 40 years.  Whew, I thought 2.5 years felt like forever!  Once they did cross the Jordan into their "promise land", the REAL battle began.  Don’t believe me?  Read for yourself.  However they eventually came to a point of peace and end of having conquered all the land that was promised to them.  Those who have read bits and pieces of the Israelites journey ever wonder “is there a climax/end to all of this?!”.  Well, yes and no. 

Joshua 21:43-45 “So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there.  The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hands.  Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.”

One cannot reject that this event ever happened, because it actually historically occurred.  Yes, I realize there are tons of other messages that can be taken away from these 3 verses. 

Lets say you get to your goal, endpoint, climax, or whatever it may be.  Ok…now what?  Is it time to just roll over and die?  No.  Set new goals, and continue on from that point while not forgetting the life lessons you’ve learned along the way with eagerness for the MORE. 

The base of it all to its core is…what do You really truly want to do?